I Lost Jesus
Sometimes I don't want to open my Bible or journal. It's like a great force is holding me back and I could make a million excuses or be distracted by a thousand things... before I might open it.
And yet deep within me, I know something is missing. This connection, this intimacy, this peace- it's violation fills my mind with anxiety, with fear, distrust, anger. I know something is wrong but sometimes I can't pinpoint it.
Until I think about Jesus.
And I realize that I lost Him. That I haven't spent time with Him. That the guy who's supposed to me by best friend has gone missing. The purpose of my life, to live and serve Him, has faded out among my business. That the Creator, the Potter, who sings over me is no where to be seen in my midst.
When His face has left my mind my heart quickly loses it's peace.
And Satan is doing everything to keep me from reading my Bible write now. Satan tries to make me angry with God- the only one who's been there for me. Satan tells me it's God's fault or that I'm too broken, or too far away from His saving power. Satan shouts his lies at me, but Jesus whispers His truths and promises.
Jesus says come- all those who are heavy burdened. Come and dine with me. Come back to the place where your soul is set free. Come back to my house where I can feed and clothe you. Come back to peace and love and grace. Come back to me and spend time with me because I want you today.
Friends, so often it's a battle and some days it's pretty hard to stay on God's side, to keep our eyes on Him, in the midst of a war. And yet though it may be hard, it's essential that we do this thing, that we focus on Jesus or else we will be lost. So I invite you with me, despite the resistance you may have to open the Word of God or listen to Jesus, to talk to Jesus anyways. To read your Bible anyways. To pray anyways. Even if you don't feel it, even if you think you don't deserve His grace or forgiveness, seek Jesus anyways.
Because He promises, that when we call He will answer us. He will draw near to those who seek His face.
And even when you feel like you lost Him, I promise He is not too far away.
"This is what the Lord says to Israel, seek me and live." Amos 5:4
"The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." Psalm 34:10