Love vs Lust and the Purpose of Marriage
Lately I have been contemplating more often what it means to love someone and God's design for a Biblical, God- honoring marriage. What does a marriage that honors God look like? How do you know if you are meant to be in a marriage relationship with someone? How do you know if you love someone or if you are lusting for them?
I'm reading a book entitled "Stop Calling Me Beautiful" by Phylicia Masonheimer. In the book Phylicia writes that "The purpose of sex is unity (Mark 10:8), service of one another (1 Corinthians 7:1-40), and pure, faithful love (Hebrews 13:4). Yet in contrast, the world's template to sex is based on lust."
Personally I believe however, that God's design for marriage is the same. I think that God's purpose for marriage is to be in unity (it is not good for man to be alone), to serve one another, and to love each other purely and faithfully.
Phylicia goes on to say that lust is any desire that is contrary to God's law, any desire for unholiness in our life. Lust is an almost obsessive attention on gaining something, for selfish reasons. Lust is not patient or self-sacrificial, willing to give up its rights. A lustful mind is focused on obtaining something desired for self instead of doing something for someone else. Lust satisfies itself first. In contrast, love puts itself second or last, because love is focused on doing the best thing for someone else.
I don't think it is possible to take both the world's advice for marriage, dating, and love and take God's advice as well. I think we have to choose the voice we will choose to listen too. While the world focuses on gratification of passions, fulfillment of personal desire and satisfaction, attraction, sexuality, and romance. The Bible focuses on marriage as a union, partnership, friendship, area of service and sacrifice, and lifelong commitment.
Ephesians 4:2-3 "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace."
Ephesians 5:25-33 talks about husbands loving their wives as much as God loves us and nourishing and cherishing the marriage relationship.