I received a call that a patient needed immediate care and I was called late at night into the clinic. Inside I was a little angry.
I didn't feel like serving or being loving or kind. I knew it would be a rough call and I prayed in advance "God give me energy to get through this. Give me love and wisdom where I am lacking."
As I walked in the clinic I took a quick peek at my soon-to-be patient. She didn't seem any happier than me to be there. As I watched her from afar, I saw the anger in her eyes. It radiated in her voice as she yelled at the receptionist. She put her head on the table and sobbed. She seemed slightly violent.. and very unhappy.
My prayers to God quickened.. And I looked for a way out. Why was I the only nurse on call that night? Couldn't somebody else deal with her?
Do I really have to talk to her?
I don't feel ready to do this.
I began to list my reasons to God why I should not have to do this work. "I'm not qualified. I'm not a good enough nurse. I don't know anything about these issues or this homeless population..."
The patient came in and I began to talk to her- trying to be logical and even toned. She didn't buy it. She just sobbed and yelled.
The door was closed and I questioned whether I was safe in here all alone.
She began to cry and scream.
I tried to use therapeutic words to tell her it was going to be ok. That I wanted to help her. That life could get better. And I wanted to help her figure it out.
Slamming her fist on the table she told me her life never got better and only continued to get worse.
That the one earthly friend she had was the one who hurt her. That she had no family of support, no community of friends, no church, no job, no reason to live. She cried and cried and cried "I don't want to be all alone."
At that time, Jesus spoke to me "Brooke this is why your here."
"You don't have to be all alone." I told her.
I asked her if she believed in God. I told her there was one person that loved her no matter what she did, no matter where she's been. That in this Universe if there's no one that really cares- there's a Savior who cares extraordinarily. I told her that I didn't understand her life, but that God knew everything about her. And He loved it when she talked to Him. And I asked her if I could pray for her.
It was the one thing that went right- that prayer- out of desperation. It was the one thing that this woman and I had in common- that we were broken and needed a Savior. And somehow the prayer changed her. It changed the atmosphere. It gave me peace to be able to love her. It gave her peace to be able to stop yelling and I didn't feel like I was about to be beat up.
This angry woman was instantly calmed by the prayer to the God of the Universe.
And my heart's fear was instantly healed by the presence of the Holy Spirit that entered that room.
I was able to provide that lonely, homeless, desperate women with medical care. But more than that, I was able to introduce her to Jesus. I was able to remind her that she had value, that she had a name that Jesus knew, that heaven sang about.
It wasn't me-- I'm not a great nurse-- not a supernatural, witnessy kinda girl. But Jesus gave me the strength that day and Jesus blessed that woman that day. Jesus reminded me that there's only one thing that matters, only one thing I can give my patients. And that is the hope in Christ and His second coming. That in the midst of rapes, and robberies, and kids who have cancer, and surgeries, and deaths- we have one hope and that is Christ's second coming.
I pray to God that I want to be a missionary. And I do. I beg God to go out, to serve, to put me in a place where can feel Him closer. But on this day, I knew that Jesus had me just where He wanted me- in a small clinic with a broken women. Jesus reminded me that He was using me. That my nursing license wasn't for nothing, that He had a plan.
This is one story but there's so many more- to God be the glory forever- for He is worthy to be praised and He is worthy of our gratitude.