I don't know when in my life I began to long for things that felt just out of reach: for applause, approval, or acceptance. For solid relationships, but then deeper- I wanted to be loved, funny, heard.
I wanted guys to think I was cool, like me, and care. I wanted other girls to listen to me, to respect me. I wanted others to affirm me.
I slowly began to base my value of myself on what other people thought about me, how they treated me..
Until the way that other people saw me, could determine my self-worth and value. I gave away my value to be chosen by men, by humans, by situations instead of my Creator. I needed validation from someone other than God. And friends, when we elevate ourselves- when we seek validation from anyone but Christ- we will always come up empty.
My selfishness deceived me. I wasn't cool enough or good enough or strong enough. I wasn't friendly enough, popular enough, or talented enough. It led me to compromise on little things. It distracted and distorted my view of Christ and His calling. My friends failed to affirm me deeply and fill my deepest needs. I felt myself drowning and wondered why...
Friends it's a struggle so hard- I know. It's a fight we have to face everyday to see ourself in the eyes of God instead of comparing ourselves with others. We can't believe what that cute guy says. We can't even trust our girl friends. We have to let the Word of Christ teach us about ourselves and where God's taking us. We have to listen to the Word of God instead of the social media.
I've seen too many women failing to believe in their worth and that's because they are listening to what magazines and movies photoshop and display. I've met fourteen year olds who are cutting themselves because they don't feel worthy. I've talked to sixteen year olds who are skin and bones but can't see that they are not fat. Self image is just one example of a way the devil tries to distort our view and value.
We must learn what it means for our value to be rooted in Christ- to have the confidence that no one can shake because you understand that you are God's child. And it's easy to say to someone else you are so loved by God, but I know it can be hard to internalize that. But when you read the Bible you can experience being loved by God and begin to understand that your value can never be changed based on how you act or perform, based on how many friends you have or don't have. Your value will never be changed by feelings or failures. Your value is steadfast, engraved in gold-- that You are loved and owned by God. You have intrinsic worth because you are Christ's child. So may we stop striving for things we can't accomplish- for things that will never bring fulfillment. May we stop looking to our neighbors and the hottest guy to tell us what we are worth. And may we start believing that because we are Christ's- really and truly we are His children.
